Parenting

How Not To Lose Your Shit | Bullying At School

By 13th March 2018 21 Comments

Bullying is an awful thing for anyone to have to go through at any age!

The first thing any parent wants to do is lose their shit, stomp down to the school and demand the reprobates get hauled out of class so that you can tell them what for yourself!

Before you lose your Shit – Remember

  1. Be strong for your child and reassure them it is going to be ok, and it will be sorted out!
  2. Remind them it is not their fault
  3. Stress to them you will always be there for them, that they can tell you anything.
  4. Keep calm – Don’t shout at the person on the other end of the phone.

My family’s experience with bullying.

Every time I called the school to report bullying I spoke with the head of my daughters year group, I would end up in tears, why should my child have to endure this every day!

The complaints I made about the school buses were always out of the school’s hands! ” we cannot police the school buses” I was informed they have a transport contract with Transdev, and when you call them it was the same story “we cannot do anything! you need to contact the school” (Passing the buck!)

In the end, we just stopped our daughters from getting on the bus to school! We now transport our girls too and from school – I will never make them go through getting the school bus again! The problems went on from year 7 through to the end of year 9.

The school has dealt with everything accordingly, apart from the school transport issues, which in the end we gave up!

Here are just a few of the incidents our daughter had to face:

  • Shoes were thrown out of the window of the school bus.
  • Chocolate milk/Water thrown all over her.
  • Various food items crumbled over her head.
  • Belongings were taken out of her school bag inc her mobile phone.
  • Hit/kicked and Threatened.

My middle daughter has also experienced bullying were a group of girls at lunchtime had surrounded her table who were intimidating her by getting in her face and pushing her. My daughter text me for help! I called the school straight away and explained what was happening, they could see on the CCTV and informed a teacher with authority to sort the situation.

It did not end there they carried on taunting my daughter, to the point she tried to seek refuge in the girl’s bathroom she was followed. They decided to stand on the toilets in the adjoining cubicles, through orange juice all over my daughter! while another girl from the group filmed the incident on an iPad and which was air dropped to other pupils in the school! It was a humiliating experience for my daughter! Everyone was laughing at her and pointing at her as she walked through the halls! I did not hear about this until my daughter got home from school that evening in floods of tears.

It was the last of the bullying problems for my children, nothing else has happened since we stopped them from getting on the school bus.

Bullying warning signs to look out for

  • Afraid to ride the school bus.
  • Suddenly has fewer friends or doesn’t want to be with a regular group of friends.
  • Frequent headaches or stomachaches, trouble sleeping –  These can be a sign of stress and anxiety associated with bullying
  • Silence is a powerful thing tune into your child’s body language even if they are telling you everything is ok their actions and body language may say otherwise.

 

 

 

 

 

21 Comments

  • Brittany says:

    Oh goodness! What difficult situations and so heartbreaking. I bet it must have taken all your strength not to yell and lose your shit! I am glad things are getting better now. It is good to read posts like this, as it encourages others to think about their own children and encourages a dialogue around bullying. Thank you for sharing

    • Katie-Lou says:

      It was an awful time! I wanted to lose my shit on many occasions, I will be glad when my girls finish school x

  • Aditya says:

    Gosh, I do not want to feel what it’s like even though in my adult life, I’ve never been bullied, but I do not want to imagine how it will happen in school. But I am happy, that you did not lose cool that easily and I think that is one of the greatest thing ever. Hope she does not face such incident anymore. I sometimes, how someone can be that jerk to anyone, that they feel that it belongs to them? I sometimes blame parents.

  • LavandaMichelle says:

    Bullying is should a sad reality. I had to get out of my skin to get a school to take it serious and provide consequences. I totally understand you.

  • Scott Gombar says:

    It is really sad that we have to talk to children at such a young age about bullying. I have been talking to my son since he was 4 (now 8) about what to do if is bullied, how he should be respectful and not bully others, how it’s OK to help someone who is being bullied.

    One that that really helps is karate class. My kids karate school has anti-bullying classes too.

  • This is heartbreaking! I really hope my daughter doesn’t go through this, but if she does I’ll keep these tips in mind. I was bullied in middle school and it definitely has lasting effects.

  • I am so sorry your daughter has had to deal with bullying like this. It’s heartbreaking as a parent to see our children struggle like this. I hope your daughter has a better school year this year!

  • Shannon says:

    Wow, I am so sorry that your daughters went through this and you as their mom had to endure this. It is hard to keep our composure as parents when emotional alarm bells are going off. Your girls are lucky to have you, no child deserves to be bullied. It can surprise me how cruel some children can be and the group mentality can quickly create situations that are far beyond control. All children need to be taught respect and should be disciplined appropriately when they caught bullying.

  • Jessica May says:

    When my daughter hit middle school the girls were so mean. I ended up pulling her out and homeschooling her, we love it and have not looked back!

  • Sarah says:

    I am so sorry your family had to endure this. Bullying is awful. I was bullied at different times throughout school, and never said anything. I am glad your girls have talked to you about it. They are so lucky to have you!

  • I’m not ready for this stage when the kids start bullying others. I went through it as a child and it really made me think twice about people and their friendships.

  • Mei Redillas says:

    bullying has a different level, guardians must know how to handle every situation. Just don’t give up and always guide your children.
    Children will learn how to handle bullying on their own but we never know how they fight back so parents must be watchful.

  • Such a sad story. I’m thankful my son is grown and I have no children in school. It’s so much different, nowadays. I feel for the parents who have kids in school.

  • I’ve definitely been in this situation and keeping my calm was the biggest challenge. Yet learning how to stay calm helped my child deal with it in a mature way. So for that I am grateful

  • Bullying is such a horrible things especially when it happens to a child, more so if its your own child. Your post that you have shared here has touched all our hearts and hope that this will stop once and for all.

  • Your situation is extreme! You did well not to lose your shit. The school just cannot get a grip on bullying and they do pass the buck. Kids are so mean especially when they bully in groups and use coercion and mobbing in which the bully may have one or more “lieutenants” who may seem to be willing to assist the primary bully in his or her bullying activities to abuse another. Your story breaks my heart. Thank you for sharing.

  • katrina gehman says:

    great advice. i need to remember this. my daughter was bullied last year with another kid actually telling her to go kill herself, pushed her and called her names. i sent a very strongly worded email to her teachers and school admins. kids can be so cruel.

  • Olga Zak says:

    Bullying is should a sad reality. I am so sorry your family had to endure this. I hope your daughter has a better school year this year!

  • These are great tips! Bullying is happening way too much at schools and it should not be happening at all.

  • Autumn Murray says:

    I am so sorry your daughter had all of these horrible things happen to her. Thank you for trying to prevent similar bullying situations for others.

  • Marie Kait says:

    Oh my goodness, I feel for your daughet. 🙁 I hope this school year goes well for your family. These are great tips. It’s definitely difficult not to lose your shit when people are nasty to your children. Mine aren’t old enough for this situation yet, but I am dreading the day. I was bullied in school and while it doesn’t have an impact on my adult life, I certainly remember it.

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